


Will You Save Us

by braindelete



Category: Marvel 616, The Order (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, henry has some feels, mention of canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 03:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braindelete/pseuds/braindelete
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry needs support after the events of The Order #10 and Tony offers it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will You Save Us

It’s been awhile since I’ve been hit by a train  
So forgive me if I’m not sure what to do,  
Who to call,  
Or how to act.  
I can’t believe I didn’t hear the whistle  
Or see the flashing lights  
Before I got knocked off the road…

 

Henry Hellrung felt like he'd been hit by something huge. Maybe a train or a bus, something with enough force to obliterate a person even at a slow speed; it had taken him apart piece by piece and yet he still remained whole. He wanted to be numb. A drink could have made him numb, but he didn't do that anymore.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change...

"How do you do it?" Henry asked quickly.

The room was dimly lit, causing shadows to fall across the floor and walls. As he sat hunched over on the couch, Henry thought for a moment that the shadows looked like her; looked like the way she'd appeared when he'd blatantly lied to her and told her that she'd be okay, before he'd taken her life as if he were some sort of god. Henry had then decided that he wasn't made for the sacrifices of a hero.

"People die, Henry," Tony said. His voice was even, not harsh or cruel, his tone was almost somber. "We can't always stop it... even if we think we should be able to."

Henry watched Tony as the other man leaned against his desk, one leg crossed over the other, the sleeves of his shirt rolled to the elbows and the top buttons of his shirt undone. He'd long since abandoned the tie he'd been wearing, and at this time of night the five o'clock shadow was present against his trimmed vandyke. Tony looked tired. Henry could only imagine how much worse he himself must look.

"How do you get over it..." Henry's voice was almost a whisper.

Tony tilted his head up. "You don't. You never get over it..."

He paced a bit, walking past Henry as he did. He sighed before managing to sit down beside Henry, a rather defeated stance in his position. Tony reached up, massaging his forehead a little. It was clear to Henry, he'd hit a nerve... he wasn't completely sure he felt bad about it either. Maybe what he needed now was to see Tony show some kind of human emotion.

"You have to move on... but you never get over it. This... this life... it will have casualties. We know that when we sign up, every time, we know that we might not come back, your partner might not come back..." Tony winced a bit. "You know it and you don't... it doesn't make it any easier when it happens."

Henry watched Tony's face, waiting for any kind of expression to appear. He wanted to see a sign of emotion, a crease of the brow, a twitch in the eye muscle, a slight flinch or frown but no such sign appeared. The lack thereof was the point where Henry felt himself snap.

"How can you be so nonchalant?" he barked. "How the hell can you sit there and be so calm like you do this every day?"

Tony's response was only a silent stare, which, to Henry surprise, only made him rage more. The amount of anger he had to unleash on Tony would put any volcanic explosion to shame.

"I killed someone, Tony! I killed a girl! Christ... she was just a girl and now she's dead because of my actions... my choices! I shouldn't have even been the one to do it you know? I told her I didn't care about her! What does that show? She spat in my face and I told her that was when I stopped caring and I'm the asshole who had to sit there and lie to her!"

"You had to. She would have destroyed LA and god knows what else if you hadn't. You did what you had to do." Tony's reply was even. "We all say things we regret later. It's part of human nature."

You're a sore loser, Captain America. Tony winced at the thought but to Henry it appeared to be a reaction to his continued yelling.

"That's your answer? You're such an expert! She was my teammate, Tony! I told her I didn't care! Now she's dead. I killed her and that's all you have to say?"

He didn't notice his knees buckling under him when the crashing wave of grief overcame him like a surfer getting knocked under the current. Tony's instinct caused him to react immediately, catching Henry in an embrace before he even touched the ground. Henry wanted to shove Tony away, he wanted to so badly to push the man off and continue his tirade, but that moment, that embrace was just what he needed. His strength depleted by the outburst, he needed to rely on Tony's arms to ground him.

"Nothing I can say will undo what's happened, Henry." Tony's voice was almost soothing in its hushed tones. "Nothing I can do will bring her back, just like I can't bring anyone else back."

Henry began to calm in Tony's arms, leaning in just a bit more than he had previously been. The peace that arrived with the rhythmic movement of Tony's torso as he breathed and the steady pulse he could feel beneath his arm caused him to find a tangible feeling of relaxation. He was now glad he hadn't pushed the other man away as he'd been inclined to before.

"In time, I'm told, it won't hurt so much. Her face won't haunt you when you close your eyes. She won't be the first thought on your mind. Someday she'll be just another distant memory of something that happened to you when... as long as you remember that it was your only option. We don't always like the choices we have to make, but we make them because they're the right ones."

There was a part of Henry that knew, while he was blaming himself for her death, Tony was blaming no one else but Tony. The man seemed to have a habit of taking responsibility for every disaster that he could be remotely linked to, because it was just another character flaw. With the death of another person on his head, it was a wonder how the man had any sanity to loan Henry. Even if Henry had been the one to pull the proverbial trigger, it was Tony who'd given him the power to do so. Tony built the team. It was Tony's fault that Henry had to kill Mulholland.

Henry knew where Tony's guilt in this matter was coming from. It was a big flashing red light above him.

"You didn't kill Steve Rogers."

Tony pulled back, turning away from Henry just briefly. Henry found himself thanking God for the trace of tears boiling over in the other man's blue eyes, the telltale redness of him forcing them back. Up to this moment, Henry had wondered if Tony really had lost his humanity and sold his soul off in pieces like some department store commodity.

"I'm not the one having a breakdown in here. I'm fine." Tony replied, with slight curtness.

Throughout the years between them Henry had always been one of Tony's most reliable resources. No matter how bad off he was, he could always find himself crawling back to Hellrung for help and even when he thought he shouldn't, Henry was a helping hand and a pillar of strength. It was then that Henry realized that same extended hand of friendship had been granted from Tony's end. He knew that he could also come to Tony, when he needed a pillar of strength, and he would be forever grateful to know that Tony was legitimately a true friend.

He ran a hand through his hair feeling a bit sheepish now. He very rarely showed anger toward anyone, especially someone like Stark with the charismatic way of convincing him to do just about anything.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Henry said sheepishly.

Tony waved his hand, dismissing the apology.

"I'm fine. You'll be fine. Just one day at a time... you know."

Henry gave Tony a smirk.

"Yeah. Hey, about AA..."

Tony sighed. "I'll go with you tomorrow, okay?"

Fin


End file.
